


JohnKat: Please Tell Me That's Not Real.

by SpoonerizeSwiftness (SplickedyHat)



Series: Splickedydrabbles: The Tumblr Request Collection [2]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Anniversary, Flushed Romance | Matesprits, M/M, Not what it sounds like
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-28
Updated: 2013-08-28
Packaged: 2017-12-24 22:38:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/945488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SplickedyHat/pseuds/SpoonerizeSwiftness
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Request: John, Karkat, and the line "Please tell me that's not real."</p><p>In retrospect, you should have known better than to listen to Dave Fucking Strider for advice on what humans do for anniversaries.</p>
            </blockquote>





	JohnKat: Please Tell Me That's Not Real.

In retrospect, you should have known better than to listen to Dave Fucking Strider for advice on what humans do for anniversaries.

John is hyperventilating, and you’re pretty sure this hyperventilating isn’t the good kind—partially because he’s making that face like he’s not sure whether to burst out laughing or jump on you and start checking you for mortal injuries or some shit.  Humans are so fucking weird. ( _There goes the romantic mood_ , the rest of you laments—you stamp it down.)

“That’s, like, a really really big stick-on, right?”  He demands eventually, hysterically, and sort of hauls you around by one of your shoulders— _ow_ , you curse at him about almost dislocating your shoulder but he doesn’t seem to hear you.  “Please tell me that’s not real!”

“Stick on a what?”  You demand right back, as aggravated and confused as he is apparently freaking out.  “It’s just one of your…” what was the word even.  “…one of your earth-human—”

“I  _know_  what it is!”  He interrupts you, and you feel his fingers trace your skin, confused and wavering.  “It—you—this—oh man.”

“I heard it was something humans did on anniversaries,” you grumble, and try not to hunch because now there’s a sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach and you fucked it up  _again._   God  _dammit._   “Of course that bulge-sucker also told me it would hurt and I barely felt the fucking thing, so I should have known he was lying about the whole—”

“Karkat,” he says, and his voice is doing that wobbly thing.  Yeah, he’s really freaking out, you can tell because he’s about to burst out laughing.  “Karkat, you got a  _tattoo_.  Karkat.  You got a tattoo.  You got a tattoo for our anniversary.”

“Uhh…yeah.”   _Shit why are humans so complicated, what’s even going on—_   “…we have them on Alternia, but unless you had a lot of money they would pretty much just chop you open on a pattern and rub in—”  you’re babbling.  “…Did I fuck up again?  I did, didn’t I, goddammit—”

“No!”  He’s really laughing now—he leans forward and bonks his forehead between your shoulderblades.  “Oh my god, that’s…ha—that’s a really, uh…sweet thought, it’s cool—oh my god, Karkat…”

“Then what the fuck is so funny?!”

“…did you even ask what a hammer and sickle  _mean_?”


End file.
